I thought of each of you, the Hope Hall family, as I watched the war in Lebanon this summer and saw the grief and despair on the faces of parents – it didn’t matter which side of the man-made boundary they were on – the grief and despair was the same.
We’ve seen those same eyes filled with deep sadness and a sense of hopelessness on our TV screens as we’ve been brought images of Afghanistan, Sudan, and Mexico.
Perhaps it is in our deepest emotions that we can recognize our oneness. A Mexican dad’s desire for a better life for his family isn’t much different from any dad’s desire for a better life, except that some dads have more options.
The hatred and grief and bitterness that some Americans carry in their hearts because of what happened on September 11, 2001 isn’t much different than the hatred and grief and bitterness that some Iraqis carry in their hearts because of what has happened in their country since March 2003.
For the last 5 years, we at Hope Hall have made a solemn pledge and commitment to ending violence one person at a time, beginning with ourselves.
The remainder of this Principal’s Corner message is adapted from a message I wrote in 2002. I offer it again, not because I don’t have anything else to say (those of you who know me, know that’s never the case), but because I am struck by how powerful each individual is, how much alike in our hearts and spirits we all really are, and how every act of violence, or every act of peace, starts and ends with an individual.
I ask you, for the sake of the children, to read the following and then join with us in being the change in our world that we all so deeply desire.
"Each pebble cast into a pond causes ripples that spread out in all directions. Each one of our thoughts, words, and deeds is like that.”
— Dorothy Day
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At Hope Hall, we define violence as anything that harms, or threatens to harm, a person’s body, feelings, or possessions. The students at Hope Hall know that most of the acts of violence we see or hear about all start with words that are said. We often don’t recognize that the violence that feels so overwhelming actually starts in simple ways — with words people use — words that inflame feelings and thoughts, and erupt into actions and deeds.
What ignites violence is simple. Stopping violence is also simple – but definitely not easy. Violence will end with each and every one of us taking charge of our words, our thoughts, our deeds, and making a commitment to never letting anything we do, or say, harm someone’s body, feelings, or possessions. Each one of us making this commitment will have the effect of the pebble Dorothy Day was talking about. Ending violence starts with individuals taking charge of their words and thoughts and choosing to act differently.
It is possible to end violence. It's not easy, but it is definitely possible. It will take self-respect, and self-awareness, and great determination, but it is possible.
Our students need us to model non-violent speech, non-violent thoughts, and non-violent actions. I’d like to offer some action steps each of us could take. These steps will be emphasized on a daily basis to every student at Hope Hall – not just once, but every bit of the seven hours we have each student with us. They’ll need the important adults in their lives to pick up the torch and continue the process. They’ll need every one of the 900 people who read this newsletter to see themselves as someone responsible for ending violence and taking full responsibility for not participating in violence – starting with our words, moving to our thoughts, and showing in our actions.
Here are some strategies for each of us to use:
- Treat others the way you want to be treated. I have never heard a driver say, “Gee, I hope people curse at me every time I make an error in my driving.” Nor have I ever heard anyone say, “I hope I get yelled and screamed at when I disagree with someone.” Who among us likes to be called names or be the brunt of teasing? Yet each of these actions — cursing, yelling, name-calling, teasing – are all acts of violence in which we participate frequently. What do these actions do other than berate another person, create a good deal of negative energy, and encourage similar violent responses? Dorothy Day’s statement is so important. Each of our words and deeds has an effect.
- Strengthen your peace-making heart muscles this month. Begin by looking at yourself and being very conscious of how you want to be treated. From this awareness you can make choices that treat others in the same way. All of us – children and adults – have to believe enough in ourselves to know that we are worthy of love and respect just as we are – not as someone else hopes we will be. If you think this belief comes easily, try this. Stand in front of a mirror and while you gaze at your own face say these words out loud so you can hear them and feel them – “I love you, I respect you, and I honor the seeds of greatness within you.” If we find that difficult, imagine how difficult it is to gaze into the face of another – especially someone who is different or who is annoying us in some way. Think of that person as being lovable and deserving of respect or honored for the greatness he/she carries within, regardless of what they do or don’t do.
- Make a commitment not to call anyone names or use words that create violence within ourselves. Words like “stupid jerk” or ones that are foul, vulgar, and cursing don’t do anything to solve a problem. They only make the receiver angrier and bring the speaker down to a very low level. They do nothing but add to the violence already in our world.
Imagine the ripples of peace that would spread out in all directions because of these three simple changes in our thoughts, words, or deeds! The 900 readers of this newsletter, plus the 110 students of Hope Hall, can create powerful ripples in our community that will have a significant impact on ending violence. It’s a small start. It’s a powerful beginning.
I hold each of you in my prayers as we make these simple, but difficult-to-do choices to make a difference and end violence in ourselves, our community, and our world.
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